Let me introduce myself…I’m just like you- just a human being. I truly believe deep down we all have the same wants and needs. We all want to be happy and healthy.  We want to feel loved, connected and abundant. In reality, we are all infinite beings of peace, love and joy…sometimes it can be really hard to see or feel that connection.

In regular life, on the surface I am a middle-aged mom, musician and Yoga teacher.  I have now been studying and teaching Yoga and Ayurveda for well over a decade. The practice of Yoga and Ayurveda has been integrated into my daily life for many years now – it’s a part of me.

The point of this writing is to tell you how the study and practice of Yoga has truly saved my life– actually more than once. Many Yoga practitioners have made the same or similar statements and have a “deep night of the soul” story. Many of us have more than one. I’d like to share one of mine with you so it might help someone – someone that has lost connection – and tell them that they can re-connect – it is possible, and, you are absolutely worth it.

After giving birth to my first son at the age of 30, I enrolled in Yoga Teacher Program at Yoga on Main in Manayunk, Pa., something that I wanted to do, that was interesting to me, and thought I could make some money and have some flexibility (no pun intended). 

I was extremely lucky.  The program turned out to be truly amazing (I highly recommend it if you’re in the area and are looking!)  Unlike many other Yoga training programs this program was an exquisite balance of Yoga movement, meditation, mantra, the study of classic spiritual texts and Ayurveda. It encompassed so many different facets of the Yoga lifestyle – something I feel gave me a better understanding and bigger pool of knowledge to draw from in the future.  I feel truly blessed to have gone thru this program.

Six months went by, I got my certificate and started teaching. I was truly happy and living my best life. Then, a few months later I was pregnant again. Only 20 months after my first son was born, I gave birth my second. Two major things were happening at this time that created a very dark time for me.  My first son was still not speaking yet. We went through a lot of worry, speculation and specialist visits.  Eventually he was diagnosis with a developmental delay -and later, he was diagnosed being on the autism spectrum.  His speech delay, physical and motor delays now all made sense. But it was a test mentally and spiritually. 

At the same time while all that was going on I was hit with an intense, serious wave of post-partum depression. The birth of my second son didn’t come with the expected joy, fulfillment and sense of “nesting”.  It was scary, devoid of joy and I was just trying hard to make it through every day.  Side note: If you know any new moms, check on them! We often say we are okay when we are not. Post-Partum depression is common and very real, and it can be very dangerous.

I was having intense suicidal and unimaginable thoughts. My mood was dark.  I had lost my hope and joy.  Physically, my body was severely fatigued.  I ached.  I was tired.  The depression was almost as physical as it was mental.

Then, slowly, (and thankfully) at some point I was able to make a change…something changed.  It changed because I made a conscious decision to draw from the pool of knowledge I had gained through my training.  With dedication and regular practice I was able to, at first, stop the free fall.  And then, eventually, I was able to start the long road back towards “normal”.  I clung to my Yoga. I instilled a regular schedule of meditation.  I discovered mantra and the power of a prayer practice in a new and powerful way. Slowly over the months and even years my body and brain began to heal. I slowly started to feel love and joy again.

Let’s be real. Over a decade later I still struggle to feel good sometimes but my steady Yoga practice has saved my life.  Literally.  Saved.  My.  Life.  – in more ways than one.

Chances are you may have already tried Yoga. It has, after all, become a huge trend over the past several decades. If by chance you are new to Yoga, or, may have tried it in the past but don’t have a regular practice I highly recommend finding a live class with a teacher you can relate to.  It is extremely important to your longevity in this practice that you find a place/space/teacher/guru that is a good fit for YOU.  In addition to getting your body moving, the benefits of live classes include help with proper mental alignment and a sense of community. In addition, please be aware that you will probably have to try more than one to find the right fit.  Try on lots of different places and people until you find the right one for you.

If you don’t have access to live Yoga class for any reason, some of the celebrity Yoga teachers, I like are Shiva Rae and Sean Corn. The emergence of the online community, especially in this post pandemic world, is far beyond what it used to be.  So, finding some personal or group LIVE online instruction is not at all difficult anymore.

But aside from the live classes, I’d like to give you my best recommendations for books and materials that can help you develop your own pool of knowledge – that you can use and draw from when you need help.  These are some of the resources that I leaned on and drew from in my journey to save my own life.  Some of my favorite books include:

• Be Here Now by Ram Das (I highly recommend this book for everyone)
• Be Love Now also by Ram Das (and basically any Ram Das books are worth a read),
• The Heart of Yoga by T.K. V. Desikachar,
• Living with the Himalayan Masters by Swami Rams,
• Kundalini Yoga The Flow of Eternal Power by Shakti Parwha Kaur Khalsa and
• The Yoga of Sound by Russill Paul.

Of course, you’re going to need a quality Yoga mat. Even a blanket will sometimes do, but for a simple quality mat I can recommend this Gaiam Yoga Mat.  And, just a tip – If you like me and you have cold toes you can invest in a pair of Yoga Socks such as Live Happy Be Healthy Yoga socks for Women.  It’s weird but they really help make a comfortable practice…and a comfortable practice is important if you want to make it a regular practice.

If you feel the darkness, please know -no matter what life throws at you -you can heal.  You can  be well.  You can reclaim your connection and get back on the road to hope and joy.  Develop your knowledge, set your intention, pray and you can heal the deepest of wounds.   I wish for you a happy Yoga practice, and a connected life. Sat Nam.